Journey to the Land of Free

Well tomorrow 10 December after 4pm local time here in Afghanistan I will board an aircraft and do something I haven't done in over 288 days… Leave my base here and begin a journey that started 298 days to return to my family. Right now I just feel like I'm leaving. When you've been away so long it just doesn't feel real until it really happens. I will leave my base here and go to a much larger one. There I will catch a military flight to Kuwait. Once I get to Kuwait I catch a civilian flight from there to Atlanta before ended at my final destination of Savannah Georgia where my beautiful bride will meet me. I've been here so long that there is no one on the entire base that has been here longer than I have. Most have rotated home. I'm going to enjoy this holiday like no other…. I know that we are going to take my son to Orlando for a surprise visit to Disney World.   He will find out when he unwraps me from the box my wife has set up for me the day after I get back at his Grandparents. I'm looking forward to doing the simple things….. Playing catch with my son…. Holding my daughter…..cuddling with my favorite cuddle bunny Shayla! If I get to do these things then my trip will me more than I could ever hope for. I know that the 2 weeks will eventually end and I will return here, but that time to me is invaluable to me. I can't put a price on it. I hope this December you will do me a favor and if able spend time with your family, tell them you love and appreciate them. Because when your away far away like I am, they will be the only ones that will be there for you. Friends most will talk a big game that they plan to write, email you or send you care packages. As the time goes on those letters, emails and packages will never come. The ones that do will be from those of your family or complete strangers that will appreciate you and your service. Well I wish you all a Merry Christmas and I pray for peace in the New Year.

Exit

Its feel so cold here. I'm so close to leaving this place to visit with my family for 2 weeks. Yes its that time this Saturday I should be boarding a flight. I go to another military base which I wait for a flight to a civilian airport. Once I arrive at this civilian airport I should be staring my wife in the eyes in less than 48 hours. The thought of it excites me like the thought of doing something for the first time. This place has really made me appreciate what I have in my life. I'm tired of hearing of Marines lose their lives amongst other things. I'm tired of seeing our country poor everything we have into this country… our sweat…our blood…. And the millions and billions of dollars. I hope in the end we get it right but my gut is it wont be right in our eyes because this region of the world will never fully accept the idea of what we represent because we are that country in the west that is everything they don't like. I hope I'm wrong but only time will tell.

Be Thankful

It's the 2 ½ hours from Thanksgiving here. I'm so Thankful for my family.  I miss them dearly. Life here has been the same. Its really pretty much the same day in and day out for the most part with different variations of change.  My boss just finished up his 2 weeks of vacation and is on his way back which means I'm even closer to going on mine. I've never looked so forward to December my entire life. My son knows I'm coming home in December but not when. I cant wait to see my wife at the airport, to pop out of that wrapped box to surprise my son and telling him were going to Disney. To hold my daughter who was 2 months old when I left and will be over a year old when I return.  If your reading this wherever you are I hope you will find some time to spend with your family. I'm not really looking forward to Thanksgiving here, but I'm hoping they at least have some pumpkin pie. If so I can be happy. If not then so be it maybe one of you will have some for me.

Lost

Well it's been sometime since I updated you all. Well it's been a rough 60 days for some family and friends.  We lost a young man here that was about 26 not married, no kids. The reason I bring that up is I feel for his family that he was never able to experience some of the greatest things that makes life so wonderful. I didn't know him personally but I know a lot of people that did and I know they took it very hard. His memorial was attended by many. The next young man I did know. We had talked on a several occasions and I even got him a flag that I had bought an extra one of. He told me that he was getting ready to leave to go back; his wife was due any day to have a baby. I remember giving his flag to his buddy and him telling me how excited that he was going to be getting it.  Shortly after returning he lost his life, leaving a new mother and child behind. His section and mine worked closely together and a lot of his Marines took it hard.  Left with so many questions, of why? All we can do is pray for the families left behind and hope they get through this challenging time.  I remember growing up and always hearing about the problem Vietnam Vets had dealing after returning from the war. I would never compare the two in the sense that Vietnam vets endured torture from their fellow Americans on return. However I don't think our country is prepared to deal with all the problems that some of the Vets come back and will develop years later. Some of these young men are 18-28 and they are going to get out after their enlistment and it may be years before we truly see how many of them will come forward for help. I'd like to say that the Marine Corps is going to be able to assist a lot of these young men during their transition. However overall I know how Marines think and it is really hard for them to ask for help as they sometimes think it is a form of weakness. Which it is not. The true cost of this war will never end for those that lived outside the wire on a daily basis and were faced with life and death situation. I just pray that we as a country can be there for them.

 

 

 

Trust. Spending. Ok a little rant

Before I came to Afghanistan I had a completely different view of what was going on here. I thought it was a struggle between us and the people that wanted their freedom against those that want to cause hate and misery not only for the people of this country but ours. That line in my mind prior to coming here was very sharp distinct line….. Well that line is a lot blurry than I could have ever conceived. I recently read an article in which platoon of Marines were going out on a patrol with a bunch of Afghan Army soldiers and one got stuck in the mud shortly after leaving the wire and didn't want to continue on. He refused to continue on with the patrol, this in itself is a slap in the face of all the Marines outside the wire who put their lives on the line everyday. One of the Marines came back looked at the embedded reporter and said "Make sure you write this in your report: The ANA are garbage."

http://www.stripes.com/news/afghans-show-little-progress-as-security-hand-off-draws-near-1.151541

This is my first trip into Afghanistan and I don't know how accurate this Marines perspective of our counterparts is. I will say over all that we as individuals we do not fully trust them and nor do they probably trust us.  I constantly hear Marines talk about how they don't trust them. You would think after 10 years we would be a little farther in our trust amongst each other. From my perspective we are far far from where you would think we are. One thing I do see is I hear politicians and high level DOD civilians speaking of how the Department of Defense needs to tighten down their budget. There are constant emails circulating about how there is a possibility they want to take away our 20 year retirement, or how they want to reduce or cut back certain benefits. Change the Health benefits of retirees. Can the Department of Defense cut back? Yes. I'm not here to argue you that point. However when it comes to those very benefits that were laid before me some 13 years ago to gain my commitment to join and furthermore to continue service and talk of them being changed or taken away. That is a pill I can't swallow. Not when I see before my very eyes the millions and millions of dollars we have spent and continue to spend here in Afghanistan. When WW2 vets came back from fighting no one in their right mind would have considered altering their benefits. How is it ok now after 10 years to speak of such a thing? We don't ask to get sent to conflicts and wars; we get issued orders by those elected officials that authorized it in the first place. Now that it's become too expensive to pay back that investment of time taking, blood, sweat and tears from the individual soldier, sailor, airmen and Marines and families have given we want to speak of cut backs. Insane! I'm not going to argue we need to curb the spending. But let's ensure we do what is right for those that protect the very freedoms…………..

AFG is where u will find me

Well its coming to that point where most of the people that worked with me the first half of the deployment are now returning home. My particular unit is the highest level for Marine Aviation and our Commanding General decided to have all E-6 and above stay a year. It at first was a very tough pill to swallow and honestly it was hard news to break to the wife who has been the everything while I'm away. We have a very amazingly strong marriage that is allowing us to look at the positives and move forward regardless if we agree with this decision. I'm looking forward to September… why? Because October is next. Everyday I'm here I'm one day closer to coming home when I get 2 weeks off in December to spend it with my beautiful wife  and kids. We plan on surprising my son and taking him to Disney World. Its funny if you ever ask my son if he could go anywhere it would be Disney World. Its so enjoyable to hear him speak of it like it's a magical
place. Besides that we are just going to do everything on the fly for my leave. Here things are in for a change at my Forward Operating Base. With all these new people of course there will be all these new rules, and then in about 2 months everyone will stop following them. I've got the lunch and dinner menu pretty much memorized. They always have a line where they have a variation of different meals they serve. They seem to heavily cater to an Indian or Pilipino menu as most of the TCN's (Third Country Nationals) that work on our base. For the most part I get the same thing every day for lunch. 1 Grilled Chicken breast which I go to the sandwich bar for a wrap, 2 pieces of provolone cheese, lettuce and if I'm lucky diced tomatoes.  Then I slide down the line and get Red jello. I don't know what flavor it is, its just red. On really good days its Orange. This is a very good day when they have orange jello. I then get bottled water. That has
been my lunch for the past 2 months, day in day out. For Dinner same thing, a line that serves different variations. And then they have the special. The special has been the same since I got here. Its Mongolian. You get your choice of peppers, lettuce, pineapple sometimes, shrimp, steak, chicken, rice or noodles. You can as much or as little as you want. Then they throw it on the grill. I get 2 spoon full of garlic powder, a little bit of soy sauce and then some sweet and shower. This has pretty much been dinner except for on Wednesday nights when they have Cesar Salad which is amazing.  That's my lunch and dinner! I know most people can't eat the same thing over and over. But me I can, but I'm going to never want monogolian once I leave here ever. Sorry Wifey lol… I've watched my daughter grow before my eyes. She is now crawling. My wife got a video of it, and it is what makes life worth it….. I hope you all are well.

Is it fate? luck? or chance?

It's so crazy how life takes you to different places and seems to purposely put you in places to meet people that have some sort of connection to you. A few months ago I was in my office and I'm responsible for giving airfield driver licenses to anyone one who has a need to drive on our airfield. I have given the class to over a thousand people. So one day 2 civilian contractors show up and they start giving me their information so I can set them up for the class. One looks at me and says… "Are you Jason Deppen Brother"? My brother Jason passed a few years back. I actually looked at him in disbelief and said "What did you say"? And he asked me again. I said yes but he passed a few years back. He said yes I was very good friends with him, we use to hang out and always have a few beers. It was so crazy that here I am thousands of miles away and the chance this guy would walk into my office and happens to know my brother. Then I told him well
I had went to his funeral and I was the only Marine in Dress Blues and he said he remembered seeing me….. Ok I'll chalk it up to chance, 1 time that I would have this personal of a connection to anyone that would walk right into my office in the middle of nowhere Afghanistan. Then yesterday I'm sitting in my office and 3 2ndLt's walked in. 2 male, 1 female. I introduce myself and they are actually awaiting a seat at flight school in Pensacola, FL and volunteered to come out to Afghanistan for 3 months prior to starting. My Major set up their trip here to our Forward Operating Base from the main base to check out the different aviation assets we have. So I'm talking with them and the female 2ndLt looks at me and says "Your Uncle wouldn't be Brian Deppen from New London Ohio would it"? I mean had she said anyone else in the world I wouldn't have been as amazed. But my uncle is a farmer in New London Ohio, has live there his entire life,
runs and operates a farm called "Deppen Farms" that has been in my family for generations. But turns out here father and my uncle have known each other for a very long time. I can't think of a bigger needle in a hay stack then that. That is now 2 of them. It's crazy how fate, chance, luck can take you to the ends of the earth and you run into people that are connected to you. And when I say the ends of the earth, I mean it. I'm so far in the middle of nowhere in a desert, people don't even inhabit anywhere within miles of where I'm at. It makes me laugh. Well now that I'm done with that crazy thought. Let me tell you what my life has been like. My last Corporal that worked for me who looked just like Farva from Super Troopers, so his call sign became Farva has left back to the land of the Big PX. I'm happy this has happened, 1 it is a mile stone in my journey for myself to return to my 1 and only and my 2 mini me's and second his
replacement his full of MOTIVATION! He's so motivated that working with him is like night and day compared to the other guy. He is 23, from the Seattle Washington area. Got married on 1 July, has a baby on the way due March 2012. I had to think of a call sign for him, and with his home area being what it is, the call sign "Tree Hugger" seems to be sticking. His far from it, but it's funny and he likes it. He looks just like the movie actor Jimmy Smits. I will attach a photo of Farva and Tree Huger smoking a nice Cuban cigar celebrating Farva's last night which I'm in each one. I will let you guess which is Farva and which is Tree Hugger (Jimmy Smits stunt double).

Another Month

Well this month seem to have flown right by me which is a great thing. Its been very hot, it got up to 128 here this month. 2 days ago my new Corporal that will work for me the rest of the deployment got here. He is motivated about joining the whole "Nation Building" (War) thing we are doing here. That's the new thing to say, Nation Building. When I think of Nation Building I think of a peaceful event where people show up to some place and start a new civilization. I guess to a certain extent we are doing that. We are creating buildings that never existed before, We are attempting to convince the locals that there is something better than harvesting drugs, We are assisting them in creating a Army out of well nothing. I have hope it will all work, hope that someday maybe they will decide blowing each other up or attempting to do so to us "Nation Builders" up. I hope someday they will say Thank You America for making us a more independent country and
showing us the better path. Then that other thought creeps into my mind. Do they really trust us? Hmmmm... Do we trust them? I think that is a 50/50 split. Personally and this will not sound nice, I don't. I really want to, but I don't currently. Will that change by the end of my deployment? I'm not sure as my personal interaction with the Afghan military is limited. Will they reject the progress and sacrifice we have made? I hope not. As I hope those that gave the ultimate sacrifice will not have been in vain. Other than that I now have something I look forward to here. 1st is Fridays. We have started "Flight Suit" Fridays. Next is my Sunday Carmel Frappuccino that I now look forward to. They build a coffee place here called Green Beans. My lovely wife and father in-law got me gift cards to it, and by the time I use them up I will be very close to October! Speaking of my wife, she is truly an amazing women for everything she's done. To those that read
this, which maybe 4 or 5 lol Thank you for showing interest in my life through this challenging time. Until next time, signing off from a country with a future that is unknown...

Stay on Board

I hear the sound of the blades on the chopper cutting through the air as it gets closer and closer. A soul has already left to that higher place and the other is fighting to stay on board. I close my eyes to pray for the families. I first pray for those that had already left us, thinking that it is so unfair that you were taken from your family so abruptly. My mind then quickly switches to think of the those still battling to stay on board, the doctors and nurses attempt everything within their power to keep you here with us trying to give you the one thing you deserve most….time. You slowly slip away and your spirit rises to the sky above looking back down on your loved ones. So many are left with so many questions…..Why? Who would do such a thing? ….. Those questions can never have an answer that will be satisfied by those that are asking it. The knocks on the door are sure to follow. The devastation, heart break, tears, anger, frustration will
come next. I hope that all of those thoughts of those here wishing you the strength to carry on will be felt. It won't be easy and it will feel that you have an insurmountable mountain to climb…. The journey to return to some sort of normalcy will take you and your loved ones sometime to return to. I hope and pray that trip to that spot in your life will come soon. We are all sorry for the loss of your loved ones….

Days continue into Nights

It's been a while since I updated you. Things here have continued to go. Some days are better than others. Certain days I day dream of spending time with beautiful wife and amazing children…. I think about what they're doing and where there going, are they happy? Are they sad? The changes to my children's development are one of the things that I miss most along with spending quality time with my wife. I just have come to accept that I can't change that and I'm grateful I have such an amazing wife that is being mom and day in my absence. I miss laying in my king size bed next to my wife sharing the funny things that happened that day. Now a lot of all of this is shared through email. My wife sends me pictures and does a great job of keeping me updated on my daughter and son. At work things are going, some days are better than others. Every day that goes by where we don't lose one of our brother or sister service members is good and I'm
grateful for their safety. I will say I will not forget coming into work sitting in front of my computer and my Corporal told me that he heard OBL had been killed. I honestly was in disbelief and went to cnn.com and right there before my eyes it said it. I hope that it brings some closure to all the families that he has negatively affected during his life span. Will it change anything? I honestly feel that some other scumbag will take his place and hopefully his predecessor won't stick around as long as he did. You hope that it will disrupt this organization that never seems short on people willing to send their message of hate. Then again it's been over 10 years and we don't seem to be running out of people to put out of their misery or those that want to go out and kill innocent people. You just wonder how someone gets involved in an organization that will eventually put them in a position to not be there for their family. I don't care
what your views are, but as a Man I think that is the most important thing to be there to influence, support and love your family. Yet these extremist buy into what they are selling and are willing to go out and strap bombs or drive bomb laden vehicles into innocent men and women. I hope for change and pray for peace…. I hope you will do the same.

Eyes of Hope

Well it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I feel I have the routine of the job down. Sometimes I can't believe that I'm in Afghanistan. It's almost like I put it out of my mind that I'm here. Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet some native people to this country. It's crazy, on base there are tons and tons of what we call TCN's. Which means Third Country Nationals, they work in the Dining facilities, laundry, the list goes on and on. It seems that most are from the Philippines and India. They all seem to be very happy with their employment and it makes you even feel better that they are so happy to be here, so it keeps you upbeat. So back to what the locals I meet. They were working on a construction project and I took a box of pop tarts over to give to them. At first they didn't see that I had them, but as soon as I started handing them out they came running up to me. 2 of them wanted two and it worked out perfectly that I
had enough. I then took some pics with them. When I meet these men they seemed so nice and hopeful for their country. I hope and pray that this country will eventually settle into some time of normalcy to where the people of this country can live peaceful and not in fear. I personally don't believe this country will ever have the absolute freedoms that we are privileged to have, however I hope its better. I've attached a picture of the gentlemen I meet. I've also attached a photo that made my week. This handsome young man is my son. When I see that my kids are happy, it makes it all worth it. Its truly something how your world changes when you have kids…..I'm so blessed.

Good and Bad Days

Some days are good and some days are bad. The good days are quite, uneventful and drag by to the point where you have to keep checking your watch. The good days make you think about home and you wonder about every little detail of those you love and think about what they are doing. The bad days on the other hand come in like a hurricane and end the same way. We coordinate Medevac so our office is the direct coordination with them coming in and the hospital. We call the hospital and let them know the information they need. Every time I call I seem to talk to the same guy that runs the section and we sometimes for a minute will talk about the extent of what they are coming in or going out for, and I honestly feel for him that he is witness to so much. He and I have physically only met once. But sometimes we talk more times than I'd like given the reason I'm calling him during a given day. Every time I call it is for one reason and one reason only.
The bad days go by fast however I'm hopeful and optimistic that more good days are ahead…..

Hope for the Future

Well the weather here has been surprisingly nice given my location. It's been in the 80's to low 90's. Everyday feels like a Monday, and days and weeks tend to blend into one another. The only time I realize its Saturday or Sunday is when I send emails to people in the states and don't hear back from them for 2 days. My wife has really done a great job of sending me pictures of my son and daughter. I see my daughter growing up 1 picture at a time. My son can carry a conversation with me as if I was right there and hang onto every word. I wish I could be in the car going to the beach with them, or playing catch with my son in the yard. But I'm here supporting those brave service members that leave the wire who bring death and destruction to those who try to bring harm our way. I'm not sure what your political view on this thing is, and honestly regardless of what it is, everyone has a value argument. I just hope that you support everyone
over here that is away from a wife, son, daughter…. Carrying out the orders of those select few elected into office of this beautiful thing we can America. I hope 10-20 years from now that when we look back and a positive change will have been made. I think to me personally that will be the thing that bothers me most…. At this point the best we can do is execute our mission to the best of our ability and pray for a brighter future for this country and our own.

a knock at the door

It was a typical night like every other. Just doing what we had to do to keep our minds off of everything and anything. The word was being passed. When I first got the word, thoughts raced through my mind about him or her, their life, the mother, the father, the wife, the daughter, the son, the brother, the sister. I knew that someone somewhere soon was about to get the news that would forever change this day for them. I visualized the knock on the door of the wife or mother and thought how bad that would hurt….. It just gave me an unsettling settling feeling inside me. It's the thought of all those that will be effected by this. The son that has a father that will never return to play catch, the wife that is given the folded flag that will no longer have her partner. The best we can do is pray for the loved ones of he that has passed and hope that time will eventually heal the pain they feel….I didn't serve with you directly, or even know
your name at this point; however my thoughts and prayers go out to your family during this very tough time.

You have reached your final leg

I've arrived. I got a little bit of a turn over and now I'm running the show. Essentially I'm in charge of running the Airfield for the base I'm stationed on. This is something unique that I've never done in my career and I'm getting to work and talk with all the different branches, civilians, and even some other countries. The fact that I'm getting to do this in combat support role is even more humbling. I feel blessed that I've gotten to talk with my wife via email and phone. It's a different Marine Corps here, and honestly as far as that goes it's a better Marine Corps. Marines are focused on the mission and supporting those that go into harm's way. Attached is a photo from my journey to my final destination.

Hurry Up and Wait

"Hurry up and Wait"; If you're a Marine this is by far your least favorite feeling. Your basically told to be somewhere at a certain time for formation (a meeting essentially). My formation was at 1430 (subtract 12 hours to get civilian time). So you wrap yourself around that time, when knowing things don't normally go as plan. So there I am showed up at 1100 to drop my bags off at the formation location. You're wondering why so early? We'll I had to return my rental and ensure I had enough time to do my travel claim with our Admin department. Travel claim process went very smooth and it only took me an hour to knock it out, inputting what I paid for gas, room and rental. Then of course I had to fax in all of the receipts. So around noon my buddy Joe had planned to meet me for lunch. So we had lunch and I left him with a sea bag half full of all the stuff I can't take. Then back for formation. And you know this Jarhead is early, so
I'm sitting there ready for formation at 1400 for the 1430 formation. They tell us it's time to go, say your goodbyes, and hang your cell phones up. It seemed so final, picking up my M9 I felt like we were about to leave. Let's just say I waited over 12 hours for my original flight to leave…. Its amazing what you find out about people when you're sitting there and they are just as miserable as you. A few stops and a couple of days in the future, I'm now in a location that is by far the coldest place I've ever been my entire life (almost 20 something below freezing). Then we had to go grab our bags for our next flight. So an Air Force MSgt tells us we have to take them like 3 blocks over. Being Marines we listen to orders. I carry my 3 70 pound bags 3 blocks over along with like 30 plus other Jarheads to find another Air Force MSgt tell us to take them back exactly where we just brought them from. At least I got to be front row as our Full
Bird Colonel told him to unfu%k himself. In the end we dragged all our bags back to the exact same location we had brought them from. Was I angry? No I just laughed as it doesn't really pay to get pissed over something so redonkulus. As the snow flurries so do the tempers of those around me. But I'm feeling great. Why? For two reasons, I got to Skype with my wife and I also ate a Snickers bar.

Her Sacrifice

Sometimes in life you are given challenges to test your will. As my time comes closer and closer I realized how truly blessed I am to have a beautiful, intelligent, witty, sexy and amazing wife, a son that is full of positive energy, and a daughter that is so precious that you can't help but take a second look. When people ask where I'm going or where I'll be and thank me for the sacrifice that I will endure I have to tell them the biggest sacrifice is carried by my wife. I just have to be a Marine, no different than I have been for the past 12 years. On the other hand my wife has to be a mother, father, comforter, disciplinarian and everything else you have to be when a father's obligations take him elsewhere. I know she's strong and will be all that and more. Things I will miss: dog fights (play fighting w/ Son), feeding my daughter, sharing the little things with the wife….. It is about that time I sign off here. I look forward to
sharing this journey with you, and trying to let you see it through my eyes.

As the time ticks

25 days left until I get into my car and drive up to the base I'm leaving from. To say I'm not thinking about it every second of every day would be a complete lie. I think about it when I hold my daughter, I think about it when I play with my little boy and I think about it when my wife and I lay in bed and talk about everything anything. It seems lately I've been staying up to like midnight sometimes watching odd shows.... Why? Maybe in the back of my mind I want to enjoy as much of every 24 hours I have before I leave.....